Having a Supportive Friend
Do you have a supportive friend in your life? What did they do that made you feel supported? Think about a particular moment when you needed support to get through a difficult time and what it was that helped you through that time.
If you’ve ever gone through a hard time in your life, you’ve either experienced the healing power of having a supportive friend, or the loneliness of being without one. We all need strong support in our lives and we all can give support to someone else.
On Monday, I went live and talked about what it means to hold space for others and for yourself in order to find inner healing.
Holding space means being there for someone in the middle of their pain without trying to fix it. It means listening more and just being there as they process their pain. If you hold space for others, you are being a supportive friend and you might be an eavestrough in their life.
Let me tell you why.
We all need an eavestrough friend in our lives
I’m no eavestrough expert here but I know that they catch rain water and redirect it down a spout to go out to the gutter. No surprise there.
An eavestrough redirects the rain water so that each time it storms, the foundation of your house doesn’t erode. It reduces the risk of flooding and moisture buildup. The point is, they do a lot to protect your house and a supportive friend can do a lot for your life.
A supportive friend is there in the storm
We all go through stormy patches in our life. Being supported by someone or supporting someone through their storm is like being an eavestrough. Friends help catch the rain to redirect it safely. The storm still happens but with some support, it won’t destroy your foundation.
You can hold space and support someone just by sitting with them. Let them talk openly and just listen. Let them feel what they need to feel. Be like the eavestrough that helps catch the overflow from the storm.
A supportive friend can handle the rain
In order to effectively hold space for someone, you’ll need to be comfortable seeing emotion. There will probably be some! Tears and other strong emotional energy may need to be released in order to receive healing energy.
Be comfortable with different emotions in order to support someone effectively. Accept all emotions in yourself or in a friend you are supporting as they pass through you. There is no judgement on the path to healing.
A supportive friend empowers and encourages new growth
An eavestrough redirects water to a rain barrel. You can use the collected rain water in your garden to grow beautiful things. Being supported through a storm is like redirecting the rain from destroying your foundation to a useful purpose in your life.
It may take a while to see, but every experience can be an opportunity for new growth.
Your stormy experiences are making you stronger. They are preparing you for future opportunities to support others as you develop empathy.
Support someone by asking questions that will empower them. Questions like, “what do you want in your life?” or “what does healing look like to you?” are helpful questions because it gives the person the space to decide what they want to do.
We all need a space to heal
A supportive friend walks with you through the darkest times to see you come through on the other side. Stronger. Braver. Confident. Your struggles will always be part of who you are but they don’t have to keep you down. With support and a space to feel your emotions, you will heal. And you can be the healer for someone else.
Everybody needs a space to heal and you can be that space. You can be the eavestrough that is there through someone else’s storm, gently guiding the rain so that empowerment and growth come in the future.
Connect the Dots
If you want to learn more about this topic, watch Monday’s episode.
Usually I send out a Connect the Dots worksheet to my subscribers to help you take action based on the blog topic, but this time I want to invite you to a special event happening in the Feel Like a Million Facebook group! (Click to join)
A guest speaker will be joining us at 1 pm (ADT)/ 12 pm (EDT) TODAY to talk about how holding space led to her own powerful healing experience. Join the group for free and hop on this call with me to hear her story!
(Don’t be shy! You can join the call with your video and mic on mute!)